On the Fifth Day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me...

30-Dec-2017 18:34:00

If the 12 Days of Christmas is one of your favourites, by this stage you’ll be all ready to bellow out “On the 5th Day of Christmas my True Love gave to me… 5 GO-OLD RINGS!”  It’s a real high point…

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I recently learned that the American version goes “5 GOL-DEN rings” and in my quest to tie the song back to great relationship advice to share with you, my mind travelled back to that old phrase “Silence is Golden”.  I found myself thinking “absolutely, silence really can be golden… but in a relationship context, it can also be hugely destructive”. You see, silence is usually what follows a breakdown in communication, which in turn is what most divorce lawyers cite as the #1 reason for relationship breakups.  So, in our quest for great relationships, best we don’t focus on silence being golden!  Thank goodness then for part two of the old phrase… 

“Silence is Golden, Patience is a Virtue!”  Now there’s a principle that we can really leverage for great relationships!

In relationships, PATIENCE is definitely a virtue worth aiming for… and probably even worthy of 5 Golden Rings! Now, I’m not talking just about the kind of patience you exercise while waiting in a supermarket queue… I’m talking about the kind of patience that you need to show when someone has just done something that’s totally at odds with what you would have thought, said or done. You know, when you think they’ve completely lost the plot!  The kind of patience that forces you to stop and remind yourself that your partner didn’t really set out to frustrate you!  Allows you to think, there must be some misunderstanding…

Did you know that Unmet Expectations in relationships usually come from misunderstood differences?

 We think that our partner thinks what we think, sees what we see, and will do what we would do… and when they don’t we begin to think “hey, what’s wrong with you”!

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Patience is what allows us to actually take the time to figure out why our partner thought, felt or acted the way they did… and respond gracefully.  That’s the stuff that great relationships are made of!

To help couples get over this most fundamental of hurdles in their quest for healthy relationships, over the past twenty years we’ve developed a course we call Navigating Unmet Expectations. It’s now very near the top of the pile for online release.  Sign up here to be one of the first to get access.  The first 25 sign ups go FREE!  Go get ‘em… 

But before you go, let’s sing this one out.  On three... One, Two, Three...

On the Fifth Day of Christmas my True Love gave to me:

NO MORE UN-MET­ EXPECTATIONS!

A ta-ank full of love,

Joy a-and Laughter,

Lang-uage of Love,

and a goal fo-or our rel-ation-ship!

Great job!  Roll on Day 6…

PS: If you missed earlier episodes, find Day One hereDay Two here, and Day Three here.  And if you haven't already, don't forget to sign up for our Blog to ensure you get the upcoming episodes...

Jon & Andrea Taylor-Cummings

Written by Jon & Andrea Taylor-Cummings

Jon & Andrea Taylor-Cummings are Co-Founders of Soulmates Academy, an online relationship education platform dedicated to building better relationships and stronger marriages.