On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… four Calling Birds! But what are calling birds? Well, one take on the story is that "calling" is a morph over the years from the word "colly" which means black, so colly birds also known as calling birds, were blackbirds.
And as I think about blackbirds I think about their squawking which reminds me of the potential for us to "squawk" at each other at this time of year. Apparently this time of year, in the run up to Christmas and New Year's, is when arguments amongst couples happen... a lot... with a peak in the divorce rate in January. :(
The thing to remember though is that by default, when we spend more time together over the holidays, we have far more occasions to bump up against our differences and grate on each other from time to time. Arguments WILL happen - its inevitable. So our top tip to minimise relationship issues and help you survive and thrive during the season is to choose your battles and keep the emotional bank account topped up.
Do things on purpose to make each other feel loved. The more love there is in the tank, the easier it is to overlook minor disagreements and move on happily. Not everything is worth an argument and you don't need to turn up to every argument you're invited to. Give each other space and grace to be frustrated without holding it against them. You also don't need to prove you're right - even if you are! As much as possible, let it be peace on earth and goodwill to all men - and women and children, especially in your home :-).
Understanding that conflict is inevitable and learning the skills to keep the love tank topped up, diffuse tension and prevent things escalating have all been vital in helping us have a healthy relationship. No one comes pre-packaged with skills for resolving conflict but you can absolutley learn how to master them. Find out more in our course on Understanding and Minimising Conflict. For peace sake!
So, that gives us verse 4 for today’s addition to the song…
Singing voices at the ready....!
On the Fourth Day of Christmas my True Love gave to me:
A ta-ank full of love
Joy a-and Laughter,
Lang-uage of Love,
and a goal fo-or our rel-ation-ship!
Roll on day 5…